


Sympathy for the Devil (or just Lucifer)

by Peropero



Series: A Human of My Word [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Identity Reveal, Insecure Lucifer, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Needs A Hug, Post-Season/Series 03, Protective Chloe Decker, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-18 21:37:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17588885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peropero/pseuds/Peropero
Summary: Lucifer freezes. The moment he sees the look on Chloe's face, he knows what has happened. Even before he lifts his hand. Even before he touches his face, and realizes that it 'did' happen.His face has returned at the worst possible time, and he is a monster in her eyes.So Lucifer makes the only move that makes sense: He runs away.





	1. Lucifer Runs

**Author's Note:**

> Lucifer definitely needs a hug. Chloe is more than willing to give it to him, once she gets over her shock; but he needs to stop running first. After all, you can't hug someone on the run, right?

 

_"No, detective!"_

_Lucifer's voice rings clear in her ears, even as her consciousness dampens. Pain blossoms like a blood-red flower from the spot where the bullet has hit her. Cain has shot her, she thinks. That damn bastard had used her and tried to kill her._

_But even that doesn't matter anymore, as Lucifer envelopes her into a hug with his trembling arms. He looks desperate. Heartbroken. Why? Her lips move, but no sound comes out. Her vision is blurringㅡ all she can hear is a round of bullets, Cain screaming, and strangely, she can't feel the pain anymore. Lucifer bends over her in a protective stance, letting out a soundless scream of pain and fury. And she feels like she's going to burst into tears at that._

_The last thing she sees before everything goes dark is something white, feathery, and very large, towering over her limp body._

 

 

Lucifer felt something break with a loud  _crack_ within him when he saw Chloe fell. When the bullet shot by the history's first killer buried itself into Chloe's chest. And that happened just because Lucifer hadn't properly warned her against him... just because he played by the humans' rules... just because he didn't protect them enough.

And nothing mattered anymore.

Grief and fury took hold of him, as he, shaken, spread his wings over her. Hundreds of bullets were showered upon him, every one of them excruciatingly painful, and he screamed... but strangely, his own screams didn't seem to matter either.

He felt numb, wholly and completely broken as he flew Chloe up to a nearby roof and healed her. A shadow of relief darted over his heart when her eyes fluttered open. But that was it; just a shadow. He couldn't bring himself to smile at Chloe even as he reassured her that she was safe.

Because he had failed her.

The despair drove him like a wrecking ball through the walls. It didn't spring to his mind that his wings were tattered and bloody; the pain didn't break through the adrenaline rushing through his veins. Her command, that he needed to get Cain, was his only law. The rules of Heaven and Hell be damnedㅡ the fallen archangel was out for vengeance, and he wouldn't stop before seeing blood.

His smile was vicious as he drove the knife home, his heart roaring loudly in his ears as he felt life seeping out from the archaic heart under him. But he was far from being pleased, he was in thorough despair, because he _knew_ Cain was right.

He was a monster, and it made him want to weep in grief.

 

 

Perhaps that was why when he turned around to face the detective, he knew what had happened even before touching himself. Panic was plastered upon Chloe's face as she visibly paled, covered her mouth with her hands, and started backing away.

"Lucifer? Oh, God, it's real," she breathed. "It's all real."

"Detective?"

He hovered in his place, uncertainly, for a moment before a horrific realization jumped into his mind. His breath hitched. There was but one explanation for the horrified expression on the detective's face and he desperately wished for it to _not_ come true...

He brought his hand up and touched his face, gingerly. He froze. Beneath his fingers he felt not the usual stubble and smooth skin of a human, but the horribly scorched skin of a devil. And at that very moment, his world came crashing down.

His face had returned at the worst possible time, and he was but a mere monster in her eyes now.

Had this happened years ago, Lucifer would have tried _something._ Something else, a mind trick, a lie, an excuse perhaps. And perhaps it would have worked, because a devil's tongue hasn't won its reputation for free. He could have done something. And now...

He could do nothing, because he loved her.

Oh, how his heart broke.

"I'm sorry, detective," he whispered, staggering back. His voice was hoarse from sorrow. A tear trickled down his cheek as he lifted his hand to shield himself from her sight. He gasped again.

"I'm so, so sorry."

Chloe barely managed to get back to her senses just then. The 'thing' in front of her had Lucifer's voice, he was wearing Lucifer's clothes, and his expression so painedㅡ it must be Lucifer, she thought. _Her Lucifer_. Lucifer who had sung to her in front of a crowd, Lucifer who didn't hide his annoyance when Trixie clung on to his legs but showed affection nontheless, calling her 'youngling' and stuff. Lucifer who liked to spike his coffee with god-knows-what.

And he looked... oh, God. He was the same old Lucifer, supernatural stuff be damned, and he was in _pain_. Why hadn't she seen that before?

She broke out of her stupor as Lucifer slowly turned his back towards her, crouching down at Cain's fallen body, and brought out his wings. His bloody, tattered wings. Chloe didn't know what he was going to do. But when she saw him throw one last rueful glance back at her, she instantly realized that it couldn't be good.

"Lucifer!"

She shouted, reaching out towards Lucifer. But it was too late.

Lucifer fixed his hateful glare upon the corpse and curled his hand into a fist. Chloe gasped as Cain's body burst into flames, turning to ashes in mere seconds as Hell's flames crackled with heat and greed. Having seen the archaic sinner turn to dust as he should have eons ago, Lucifer dipped his head. His wings unfurled, to its grand length, andㅡ

"No, Lucifer!"

He was gone in a whirlwind of feathers, leaving Chloe behind. Alone.

 

 

_1 And Samael, the Bringer of Light and the Brightest of Angels,_ _Fallen to his throne in hell,_

_hated himself than ever before, believing himself righteously banished from her;_

_his belief etching the devil's face into his skin, like a mark on Cain's arm._

_2 The God saw his son turn away from his beloved, running away in shame,_

_his bloodied wings giving him great pain;_

_3 And the God felt pain for his son, too._

 

 


	2. Littlest Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his wings mangled, Lucifer is stuck on Earth. No matter how he wants to hide in Hell. So he makes the best choice available- he runs off to the damn desert, out of all places.
> 
> Meanwhile, Chloe Decker tries her best in reaching out to her friend. And gets an unexpected visitor.
> 
> Talk about little miracles...

 

Lucifer woke to the sound of _pit-plat_ , as raindrops softly drummed against his face.

 

He let out a muffled groan, lifting an arm to shield his face from the water- _gosh, it was heavy as Hell_. But the cool, moist sensation was too good to resist; his arm swayed midair, indecisively, before it fell to the ground with a heavy thud. It took a moment before his eyes fluttered open, revealing two red eyes brimming with hellfire. He turned his unfocused gaze to the sandy landscape... he blinked again...

He was on a bloody _desert._

That explained the parched lips and dry mouth, but what on earth had happened? Lucifer clenched his teeth as he tried to sit upright. His efforts proved to be futile, though, when his back was suddenly penetrated by an excruciating stab of pain. He let out a small yelp before falling on his back again. The impact felt like a thousand elephants trampling across his wings. Lucifer lay gasping as he waited for the throbbing to pass.

Not only did he feel tired, his wings were hurting like Hell as well. _What-_

Then he _remembered_ , and his breath hitched.

The grief. The rage, the guilt. How the Detective was awfully limp in his arms as he shielded her from the Sinnerman's firearms. Killing of Cain. The look of terror on her face. _It was all true._ Detective Chloe Decker, backing away from him in fear. _Detective?_ Tentatively touching his own cheek. Realizing in despair that the cursed face had returned, in the worst possible way. And the Detective had seen it...

Fear had gripped his heart, and he did what he did best: He ran.

If he could have escaped to Hell, he would have. No matter how he hated the place- how he had pledged to never return- he would have chosen to return, to hide, because Hell was one place that she couldn't follow him.

To see hatred engraved upon Chloe's face was what he feared above his life. When Doctor Linda had refused to see him for a week after seeing his true nature, it had hurt; but only because it served as another proof that he was a monster to the core.

Losing Chloe would be different. It would kill him.

And lying in the desert, Lucifer remembered; remembered smashing his phone to pieces, so that they would never see each other again. Spreading his bloody, tattered wings in despair. Taking off to the east, trying to make it as far as possible. His sole desire was to hide himself from the humans once and for all. The desert was a vast place, and with any luck, no one would come upon him. Lucifer Morningstar, his punishment bestowed upon him in the form of a monster's face.

So that he could die in peace.

He remembered losing consciousness and falling, as the pain from his broken wings overwhelmed him. And he must have been lying here for hours- or days, even- till he woke to the sound of raindrops.

_Rain in the desert, huh?_ He managed to push himself upright and leaned on the Joshua tree (which just happened to be overlooking him- Lucifer knew that this must be another meddling of his Father). He winced as he glared up at the dawning sky.

"So you don't want me dead after all, Father?"

Lucifer whispered in a raspy voice, then barked out a laugh. The cool sensation of water _was_ soothing to his wings, which was not only bleeding but also oozing light from the open wound. And he knew it wasn't just light- The Lightbringer was slowly losing his Grace.

If he didn't have his wings patched up _soon,_ he was going to die.

Lucifer had no objections.

"You should have known," he mumbled as he eased himself against the tree. "You should have known, Dad. I'm the worst trouble-making son of the entire Silver City. And if you want me alive for another of your twisted, manipulative plans... it serves as a good enough reason to choose otherwise."

He grinned faintly at the raining sky.

"I'm going to die, Father."

The sky was unresponsive as always, and rain simply kept pouring over his scorched body. Lucifer gingerly lifted a hand to touch his face. His demon face has receded to a human form, but he could still feel the tingling sensation of hellfire raging just beneath the skin. He didn't really need a mirror to see that his face would be glowing a faint gold- like it had as he raged at Cain's dying words.

He dropped his hand and sighed.

"If you're going to tell me anything, this looks like a good chance. You could make an apology, at least. Or say that you're disappointed again."

Again, nothing. But at the corner of Lucifer's eyes, a faint shimmer of golden light caught his attention. The pain was getting worse every second- making his neck stiff- but he managed to turn his head. And there, just out of his reach, was a phone. _His phone._ The one he'd shattered into pieces before taking a one-way trip into the desert. It was fully restored.

Lucifer didn't need explanations to know what had happened. He rolled his eyes in exasperation as he mumbled.

"Talk about small miracles..."

That's the smallest miracle I've ever seen, he thought before his head lolled to the side. His eyes drifted shut. No matter how hard his Father tried, he was _not_ getting up. He was not going to call Chloe. He was going to stay here, under the Joshua Tree, as life gradually seeped out of his body. To Hell with forgiveness; he didn't want forgiveness or mercy from his _Father._

And his consciousness was dragged, again, into a pitch-black darkness. Hopefully he would never wake up again.

 

Chloe Decker was a mess.

Yes, she did find out that her ex was Charlotte's killer. Yes, she was hit by a bullet. Yes, she saw Pierce lying dead on the ground, apparently stabbed by Lucifer himself. And yes, she had just looked into the eyes of the Devil, the horrible truth of Lucifer's identity finally hitting home. It was all true. Lucifer had never spoken in metaphors; he was the son of God himself. God!

But that was not the real reason she was a mess. She was afraid, yes, but not afraid of her best-friend-turned-Devil; she was afraid _for_ her friend.

Because he was gone.

Because he was gone before she could say a word, and she had seen the resigned despair in his eyes, heard him breathe out a shaky apology before he disappeared into thin air.

_Because he was gone, not a trace to be found, leaving a heap of bloodstained feathers behind!_

Yes, it took a moment for Chloe to piece two and two together. But when Ella told her that the wall looked like some kind of wrecking ball had come through, and Dan commented that there were nearly a thousand bullet shells rolling around the place, Chloe realized the truth in awful clarity: Lucifer had taken the bullets for her. And if that didn't make her think straight...

Her best friend Lucifer was presumably bleeding to death somewhere, and she didn't know what to do.

Thankfully Dan had put evidences together, and the fact that Pierce was the Sinnerman was out in the open now. The investigating team asked Chloe a few questions before letting her go; miraculously few had been killed in the crossfire, after all. But they were putting out a BOLO for Pierce because his body was missing.

Chloe was sitting in a police car, looking dazed and wrapped up in shock blankets, when Dan came up to her. He asked her what had really happened in the building. She confessed to him that Lucifer had killed Pierce and gotten rid of the body. Dan looked immensely relieved at hearing that.

"I would have to thank Lucifer for once," he said, embracing her in a squeezing hug. "That bastard was better off dead. So... where's Lucifer?"

"I don't know, but I think he was injured. We need to find him."

So they drove over to Lux, but the penthouse was empty. Then they tried tracking down his phone. Which was also to no avail.

"Signal's gone. I'm sorry Chloe, I can't track him."

_"No,"_ Chloe whispered as she crumpled down on her chair. Dan tried to soothe her, saying that Lucifer would be fine, but she _knew_ how much he was bleeding. She knew it from the bloody feathers. But she couldn't tell that to anyone, right?

So she simply said nothing, sitting silently as fear gnawed at her heart. After a while Dan gave a squeeze on her shoulder before heading over to Trixie's bedroom. He was going to tuck their daughter into bed for her. Chloe sat there, staring at her phone, hoping that something _would_ happen. She whispered in a teary voice.

"Where are you, Lucifer?"

Time ticked by...

 

It was nearly dawn when she was nudged awake... by a gentle voice in her head.

 

_"Chloe."_

 

She startles, gasping as her eyes flew open. What was that? She looks up at the clock and saw that it was half past four. Must have dozed off; must have heard things in her sleep. Chloe glances down at her phone. Her heart sinks as she sees that there was still no call from Lucifer, no text...

And the voice in her head speaks up again, this time more clearly.

_"Do not worry, Chloe."_

Chloe is so shocked that she almost drops her phone at that. After fumbling to catch it, she looks around in a frantic motion to find the source of the voice.

That's when she spots a dove sitting on her desk, its pure white feathers glowing faintly. She thinks she was seeing things till the dove tilts its head to a side and _speaks._

_"You will save my son, Chloe Decker, if you are willing to."_

My son.

And realization hits her like a brick.

"You're him. You are God," she whispers in a weak voice. The dove does not acknowledge that statement, just looks straight at her with its twinkling eyes, and Chloe's legs turn wobbly. Not only did she find out that her best friend was the Fallen Angel from the beginning of time, she is facing _his father_ now. The creator of all worlds.

But the dove looks so peaceful, so gentle, and its voice soothes her to the very soul. It flutters its wings, lifting itself up to the air, shedding a warm glow all over the place.

_"All my children are created miracles, but you more so than others. Have faith in yourself, and in my son, for he cares deeply about you. But you will need to hurry; he is in great pain and requires your assist desperately."_

"Wait! Where can I find him? Where is Lucifer?"

_"I have sent you help."_

Comes the simple answer, and the dove is gone as abruptly as it has appeared. Chloe stares at the place where the dove was sitting; the disappearance of light makes her heart ache deeply in loss. But she soon remembers God's words- that she will need to hurry- and shakes away the stupor at once. She sits down and gets to work.

She knows the tracking would succeed even before she finishes it. But her heart still jumps to see the signal, the GPS of Lucifer's phone, miraculously back on the screen. She's located him.

He's in the goddamn desert.

Of all the places he could hide, he went to _the desert!_

Chloe blinks at the screen in disbelief, her hands hanging midair, when she hears honking outside. The loud honking noise continues and neighbors start to shout in protest before Chloe peeks through the window. She sees a truck, and Ella Lopez waving out of the driver's seat, grinning madly. Chloe knows that this is her 'help'. She takes no time in sweeping the laptop into her arms and rushing out to the garden.

When she jumps into the passenger's seat, Ella beams at her.

"You'll never believe what brought me here!"

"Actually, I can," Chloe answers breathlessly, holding up her laptop. "And we need to go to the Death Valley. Now!"

 


	3. Winged Cargo (Handle With Care)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ella and Chloe have a Talk on their way to Lucifer. After all, it's a four hour ride to the Death Valley, isn't it?
> 
> Meanwhile, Lucifer doesn't react nicely when he wakes up to find Chloe before him.

 

The truck rattled each time it encountered a bump in the road. It would be a four-hour ride to the Death Valley of Mojave desert; Chloe could only cross her fingers and wish that it wouldn't be too late. After all, God himself- _God!-_ had told her to make haste. It was a fortunate thing for her that Ella Lopez wasn't someone too keen on keeping speed limits. After pressing down on the accelerator without even a hint of hesitation, Ella turned to beam at Chloe.

"I wasn't really sleeping. This was too interesting a case for me to overlook- because none of the evidence made sense, you know? I mean the _feathers!_ It looked like Pierce's man concentrated their firepower on an unfortunate swan or... something! The number of bullet shells wouldn't match the number of bullets found, and..."

Ella trailed off with a shrug.

"Anyway here I was, trying to make sense out of nonsense, and running a blood analysis of what little I had. Then when I dozed off- WHAM! Can you guess what had happened?!"

"God sent you?"

Chloe asked back in an unimpressed voice, but when Ella stamped on the brake and the truck screeched to an abrupt stop, she had to let out a small yelp of surprise. Ella was staring wildly at her.

"Are you joking?!"

_"Keep going, Ella! And keep your eyes on the road, for God's sake!"_  Chloe hissed back, rubbing her sore forehead. Ella blinked. When the truck started to roll forward again, the Detective added: "So... it isn't what happened?"

"No! Yes! I mean, that was exactly what happened, but you were the last person I expected to say that!" Ella gasped when a realization hit her. "Did God speak to you, too?"

Chloe hesitated for a moment. How much should she tell her? Lucifer wasn't exactly keen on hiding his identity- he has claimed that he was the Devil for _years-_  but he didn't want them to believe him, not really. Chloe could remember the look of terror in his eyes as he realized how he looked... thinking back on how Lucifer looked _so dejected, so lost_ made her heart ache heavily.

But God did bring Ella here, dubbing her 'Help'; that would make her part of the gang, right?

She also knew how open-minded Ella Lopez was. Maybe she would react way better to Lucifer's true identity than Chloe herself. Plus, she would have to explain how Lucifer ended up stranded in the middle of the desert, and maybe get some help in disposing of Lucifer's bloodstained feathers from the evidence collection. There was no choice.

"Okay," Chloe sighed, putting her hands up in resignation. "Okay. I guess we need a Talk."

So they did; miles and miles of endless sand gave them ample time to do so. Chloe told Ella how Lucifer was truly the Lord of Hell, how she had woken up in his arms inexplicably, how she had seen Lucifer's true form as he stood over the corpse of Pierce. How it must have been Lucifer's wings that had shielded her from the full brunt of attack. Her voice momentarily failed her as she recounted how she was frozen in her place while Lucifer panicked and ran- but otherwise it was remarkably firm throughout the story.

When her tale ended with God telling her to hurry for his son's sake, Ella squealed in excitement.

"This is _so_ exciting!" then she sobered up to add, "Oh, sorry. I guess I shouldn't have done that, with Lucifer hurt and missing and everything. I'm worried, too... but being friends with the Devil himself for years? That's _soooo_ _cool!"_

"So you aren't... freaking out about it? I mean, you go to Church every weekend. And the Church isn't exactly fond of Lucifer."

"Bah, I always thought that the devil got a bad rap. And to be honest, the church isn't fond of anything. How can Lucifer be a bad guy when he's the most kind-hearted fool I've seen in years? Besides God himself is concerned about his continued well-being, which definitely means something."

Ella rolled her eyes before brightening up to say, "Oh my God, do you think I can ask him about the creation?"

"Maybe? If he's... alive."

"He will be."

She reassured Chloe in a firm voice; and strangely, the faith in her declaration had a calming effect on her. Tension drained out of Chloe's shoulders- and she leaned on her seat, relaxed for the first time in many hours. She kept her gaze fixated on the far horizon of the desert.

 

When they finally arrived on the site of signal from Lucifer's phone, it was nearly ten o' clock in the morning. To their surprise it was raining heavily- shielding them from the harsh rays of sunlight and cooling the air. The truck slowed to a stop. Chloe jumped out as fast as she could. Ella followed her and looked around, taking in the endless landscape of sand.

"So where is he?" she asked, squinting her eyes.

Chloe spotted something in the distance at that very moment: a crumpled figure lying in a heap under a lone Joshua Tree. Rather than answering Ella's question, however, she chose to run directly at _him._

At her friend.

"Oh God, Lucifer," Chloe whispered as she crouched down next to the motionless figure. She took his pulse, just to make sure, and was relieved to find that his pulse was slow but steady. _Mild bradycardia,_ her brain supplied. She held her hand to his nose. His breathing was also a bit slowed. And his face was back to the smooth olive skin with his usual 5 o' clock shadow. Lucifer seemed to be his usual face, except for the lack of consciousness... and...

Oh God.

"This is bad, very bad," Ella muttered, panting from her sprint to catch up with Chloe. And Chloe silently agreed with her; blood was smeared on the bark of Joshua Tree, suggesting that he had been initially leaning onto the tree before slipping down to the ground.

The state of his wings, well... they were the biggest problem. The angel appendages were spread out as a mangled mess, losing some inexplicable golden light along with blood, so much that Chloe was afraid that he would bleed himself to death.

_This is because of me,_ she thought. _He was hurt because he was trying to protect me_.

Her hand shook as she pressed on one of the wounds that was bleeding the most. The feathers were soft as silk to her touch, but wet with blood; Lucifer moaned in pain even in his sleep. Chloe panicked, not knowing what to do. She was a Homicide Detective, _not a bloody doctor,_ and her friend was in pain, bleeding to death probably. Tears prickled her eyes, blurring her vision. It wasn't damn likely that she could call for help anyway...

It was then when a gentle pressure was applied to her shoulder. Chloe tearfully looked up to see Ella smiling weakly.

"I've got some first aid kit in the truck," she suggested in a soft voice. "Maybe we should move him over there. I think we can do something about his wings. Although I'm not too sure, I'm a forensic scientist after all, not a vet or a doctor..."

But it was the best option they had at the moment, so Chloe quickly gathered herself together and nodded. It took some struggling to move the unconscious angel's body- but they somehow managed it. With his wings spread out six foot wide, they found out that he didn't fit in the front seat; so they had no choice but to lay him out in the back. Like a giant winged cargo or something.

"Okay, let's do this," Chloe breathed, putting on a pair of latex gloves.

Ella injected him with painkillers, and Lucifer's brows, which had been furrowed in pain, eased. Chloe's heart ached as she cradled his head in her laps.

_Please,_ she pleaded soundlessly- not to God, but to Lucifer. _Please tell me that you can make through this. Please, Lucifer, save yourself as you had saved me._

Lucifer simply lay motionless, unaware of what was going on around him. He didn't scream as Ella and Chloe began plucking bullets out of his wounds with forceps. Not once throughout the entire process.

 

_Lucifer blinked._ _He was drifting within a dark void, a place without light or gravity, or anyone to accompany him. He looked around in mild interest before voicing his curiosity._

_"Where am I? Is this the Empty? Or the Underworld? Have I died for good, Father?"_

_"Quite the opposite, my son," a voice replied from behind him. "You are simply unconscious."_

_Lucifer spun around in shock. There was a man glowing luminously in the dark, clasping his hands behind his back as he gazed at Lucifer. He looked nothing like God Johnson; he was just like he was when he had condemned Lucifer to hell- eons ago- before everything had happened. Lucifer felt a chill run down his spine._

_"You are my hallucination," he whispered, staring with wide eyes. "I'm in a bad state, so I must be imagining this."_

_And God smiled ruefully._

_"You know that isn't true, Samael."_

_The name was like poison in his ears. Lucifer jerked in pain before he bared his teeth in absolute fury. God made no movement whatsoever as his son stomped over to him, swung his arm around, and planted a firm punch in his chin. To Lucifer's dismay the impact was less than he expected- the perks of throwing punches in a dream._

_Dad rubbed his sore cheek, deep in thought, before letting out a small sigh. "I guess I had that coming. But hitting me twice, son?"_

_"You've been watching," Lucifer spat. His entire body was shaking in anger. "You've been watching me the WHOLE TIME! When I danced around like a clown around God Johnson! When I killed Uriel, your son! When Mother was planning on waging a war against you! When the detective... when Chloe... nearly died! You are a sick, manipulative bastard!"_

_"I guess that's right, too I've heard your accusations as you spoke to Johnson, my son."_

_"Well, then, I have no need to repeat myself, do I?" Lucifer's voice broke little. "Say something._ Anything."

_And to his surprise, something he had never expected happened: God hesitated._

_"I..." he clasped his hand, gazing straight at Lucifer with a pained look in his eyes. "I was... angry when you rejected me, so I rejected you back. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. You were- are- my son, after all, and a father should do what's best for his son. But yes, I was angry, and stayed that way for eons until I couldn't remember why I was angry at you. Then one day I thought, why?"_

_Lucifer stayed silent. His father continued._

_"Why should I be angry at you? Maybe you were right. Maybe, when you saw the humans I've created and the free will they've been gifted with, it was natural that you longed for that, too. Maybe I should not have tried to restrict you in the first place. So I watched you as you stepped onto Earth and joined the humans."_

_"And?" Lucifer blurted out. God's eyes softened._

_"What you've heard from Johnson is no different from my thoughts. I'm proud of the man you've grown to be, Samael," he let out a shuddering breath. "And I am sorry."_

_Lucifer became deadly still. His eyes searched, intent on reading a hidden intent, something, or anything from God's grim features- but he found nothing._

_His father said he was sorry._

_His father wasn't lying._

_"But... why? Why, after all this time, father?" Lucifer murmured, tears welling in his eyes. "Why... how... is it pity? Last words of goodwill? So that I would remember something nice of you before I rest in peace, forever?"_

_"Ah, I'm afraid that's wrong, my son."_

_And when God smiled at him, it was so bright that its glow lit up the entire darkness. Lucifer covered his eyes with his arm, blinded by the light. Only his Father's voice rang loud and clear in his ear._

_"After all, you are not going to die."_

 

 

Lucifer awoke with a gasp. His heart raced in his chest as he bolted upright in his bed. Wait. His... bed? But he had lost consciousness in the desert, sentencing death to himself.  _Where was he?_  His eyes rolled wildly, taking in the surroundings around him, and it took him several seconds to realize where he was.

He was back at his penthouse in Lux.

The wings still ached horribly, so he gingerly traced his finger from his bare chest to the appendages at his back. As far as he could see, all the blood was wiped clear from the wings; the bullets taken out; and his flesh was rapidly knitting itself together under the bandage. Although his feathers were still awfully ruffled- making him shift uncomfortably in his seat- his body was in a much better state than it had been before. The question was, how? Was it Maze?

His question was answered when his bedroom door swung open at that point.

"Lucifer, are you awake?"

_The Detective._

Their eyes met midair. For a millisecond, Lucifer froze.

 

Then he abruptly decided to pull his blanket over his body, hiding himself from her sight and curling up into a ball.

 

 


	4. A Human of My Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The other side of me is... it's bad. It's monstrous, even. But you wanted the truth, and you deserve the truth. Right now, I can't show it to you, so I'm just gonna have to tell you. Detective... Chloe... I am the Devil."
> 
> "No, you're not," she whispers. "Not to me."
> 
> And Chloe Decker was a human of her word.

 

_"Lucifer Morningstar..._ _Is that a stage name or something?"_

_"God-given, I'm afraid."_

 

He had never hesitated when it came to his identity.

 

_"Why are you surprised, Detective? I'm the devil. I'm evil."_

 

Never held back to tell that he was the devil, a monster, a rebel cast out from Heaven. His voice would almost hang on the edge of pride every time he pronounced the 'D word'.

Until one day, he didn't.

 

_"The other side of me is... it's bad. It's monstrous, even. But you wanted the truth, and you deserve the truth. Right now, I can't show it to you, so I'm just gonna have to tell you. Detective... Chloe... I am the Devil."_

 

He struggled on every word; his hesitation was a far cry from his usual eloquent self. It was the first time he actually looked ashamed, _humiliated even,_ that he was the Devil. His eyes were full of fear- fear that this time Chloe would actually believe his word, and see how much of a monster he was. And at that very moment, Chloe realized:

He was never speaking in metaphors.

All the Heaven and Hell, devilish nonsense he kept gibbering about, it was all real to Lucifer. Maybe not to the rest of the world- maybe he was the one who built that elaborate 'story' surrounding himself, as Amenadiel had said before- but whatever the reasons may be, she could see that he believed every word of it. That he was truly... monstrous.

It broke her heart.

She wanted to ask: _Why do you hate yourself so much? What kind of pain have you gone through, that you would go so far as to believe yourself to be the Devil?_ But she didn't. Instead, she reached out to him, tracing his chin with her thumb. He gazed down at her with a pleading look in his eyes, so broken, so desperate... and Chloe whispered:

"No, you're not. Not to me."

She leaned into a kiss.

Chloe Decker was a human of her word, if anything.

 

And here they were, in a strange standstill; Lucifer looked like a gigantic- wounded- albatross as he hid himself under the fluffy blanket, trying to look as small as he could.

Of course the bedsheet, however large, wasn't big enough to cover him and his... wings. (And they were _real_ wings, for God's sake!) Chloe almost burst into an uncontrolled fit of laughter as she spotted a few rogue feathers sticking out from under the fabric. Despite the circumstances, there was no denying that this was an awfully hilarious sight.

"Hey."

Chloe said softly before approaching Lucifer. She sat beside him; the mattress slightly bounced under her weight. She could feel him go rigid with tension. Nonetheless, she sighed a little and reached out to stroke his wings.

"How do you feel? I tried to re-hydrate you and patch your wings up, but I don't know if I've done a good job."

"You have," Lucifer answered quickly, his voice quivering just a little. "Um, it seems you've done an excellent job really. I'll get better in no time at all."

"But you were shot. Trying to protect me."

"It's just wings, Detective. My recovery speed far surpasses that of a human's. I am-"

"-the Devil, I know. So what? You're not getting better. Is there a problem? Something that's hindering you?" Chloe struggled to recall the mysterious words he had said to her in the past. "Wait, you used to say that I make you... vulnerable. Am _I_ stalling your recovery?"

"No. Yes. I mean, when you're nearby, I become mortal, but that's not an issue right now. I..."

Lucifer hesitated for a moment before hastening to add, "To make a long story short, it goes like this. Celestial beings are defined by their own mind. Their subconsciousness. It's just like humans: the more guilt you feel, the deeper you fall into Hell. My brother, Amenadiel- he had lost his wings for some time before he redeemed himself, regaining them and returning to the Silver City. And I... do you remember when I told you that I've been kidnapped? When I woke up in the desert, I discovered that I'd lost my devil face and regained my wings. For some time I've been thinking that it was my Father's meddling, but maybe... _it was just me._ I was starting to hate myself a bit less, and hence the return."

Chloe was a quick-witted woman. After all, it was what made her a detective. She cleared her throat before speaking up.

"And you... you felt guilty for killing Pierce?"

If Lucifer was facing her, he would probably have smiled bitterly. Guilt? He didn't feel _guilty_ for killing that bastard. That maggot was better off in Hell, anyway. But... watching Chloe as she fell to the ground, light escaping from her eyes, it was an agonizing experience. _Why?_ He had screamed to himself as he caught her in his arms. _Why did I let her get involved in this? When I knew that Pierce was Cain, the most dangerous, archaic killer in the world? Why?!_

Perhaps something had broken inside him at that very moment. With fury, with regret, and with grief. A rueful smile drifted to his lips as he tightened his grip on the blanket.

"Maybe I don't deserve my wings," he muttered. Chloe's eyes flashed with anger.

"Don't be silly."

She forcefully pulled at the bedsheet, and Lucifer let out a little shriek as it slipped away from his hands. Chloe was talking about how curling up under the blanket was making his feathers all ruffled, and how it must be bad for his injuries, but none of her words reached him. Panic pounded in his ears as he eventually gave up on the piece of fabric and decided to curl up instead. He whimpered, trying his best to shield his face from her sight.

"No! Detective, please, don't look..."

"Lucifer, stop derailing yourself and look. _Look at me right now."_

He didn't.

So Chloe promptly held his chin in her hand and lifted it. He averted his eyes from hers, fear and shame written on every line of his face- but neither did he make any movement to resist her. He just chose to chew on his lower lip rather nervously.

Chloe decided to think of it as a silent consent and took her time to look, _really look_ at him.

She immediately understood why Lucifer had been so keen on hiding himself. He did look every inch of his normal self, with the usual stubble and the smooth olive skin, but his eyes were still glowing red and gold. (Maybe it was out of control?) And his skin... it looked like it was faintly glowing. A barely contained hellfire was randomly flitting across his features, threatening to burn him from the inside out anytime. When Chloe trailed her thumb across his face, she was surprised how cool it was; but her tracing left a small trail of fire in its wake.

"Does it hurt?" she breathed. Lucifer shook his head.

"No. It's a... tingling sensation at most."

_That_ was a relief. The last thing she needed was to see her friend writhe in the pain of a third-degree burn. It _did_ make him look distant and inhuman, but this was Lucifer. Her Lucifer.

Above all, she was taken aback because he looked _so lost_. Dejected. Vulnerable. Afraid, even.

There he was, the former Lord of Hell, sitting with his shoulders hunched as if he desired to make himself look smaller in her eyes. His wings were wrapped around his own body- and Chloe didn't need a full course on Angel Body Language 101 to know that he was scared. But of what? He had killed Pierce in self defense, surely he couldn't blame himself for that.

And then Lucifer glanced up at her. When their eyes met, Chloe felt a sudden realization dawn upon her.

Oh. _Oh._

"You look scared," she whispered, her voice broken slightly, "because... you think I'll abandon you."

Lucifer let out a half-choked sound, and she saw tears welling up in his eyes. He gritted his teeth as he avoided her gaze.

"I- I didn't want to show you. _This,_ I mean. And I still can't control it. I can't believe... I... that you are still here, Detective, _because it must repulse you,_ and most people don't react well to this..." And then the tears came, streaming down his cheek as he gasped. "You don't have to stay, Chloe. You may feel accountable because we've been friends for the past few years, maybe that's why you're with me, but you've shown me enough favor by... 'patching me up', so to say. I mean..." and his voice broke. "I didn't want you to see how monstrous I am."

Then he flared his wings- _God_ , they were massive- as if to escape from her presence. But Chloe caught him this time. She ignored the aching pain in her heart and held on, fiercely gazing into Lucifer's panicked eyes.

"Don't. Go!"

"Chloe, please."

"No, _you listen to me this time_. You may be a Devil, you may be a moron even. But you're not a monster. Far from it."

Lucifer was still shaking his head, but she continued anyway.

"That's not who you are, Lucifer! Because you're the best partner I've ever had. And..." she choked on her words. "And... I still love you. No matter who you are."

"Impossible. You can't love someone like me. Especially now that you know the truth."

"Lucifer Morningstar, remember the day we kissed?"

He finally snapped his mouth shut at that, and stared right back at her. How could he forget? He had confessed that he was the Devil, and she had still kissed her. Maybe she hadn't believed that he was the Devil at the time, but it didn't matter to him; he only longed for her warmth, her love, as he desperately kissed back. He remembered every word she said that night.

_"Detective... Chloe... I am the Devil."_

_"No, you're not. Not to me."_

She couldn't mean...?

"You meant every word of it," Lucifer whispered, this time in awe. "And you still... mean it? Even after you've seen it all?"

Chloe gave a tearful laugh at that.

"Of course I do, you idiot."

She reached out to give his hand a tight squeeze. Then she added in a more playful tone:

 

"After all, I am a human of my word."

 


End file.
